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MONDAY, April 2, 2012


Following an outdoor mass attended by 300,000 Cuban Catholics, Pope Benedict XVI had a 30-minute meeting with Fidel Castro at the Papal Nuncio’s residence in Havana.  Reporters from all nations covering the historic meeting were hard pressed to find an area of common ground between such diametrically-opposed world leaders – one a stern and implacable dictator whose rule demands blind loyalty and absolute obedience… and the other, Fidel Castro.        

Russia’s president-elect Vladimir Putin announced a nationwide competition for cash prizes that will honor Russia’s best workers among the country’s welders, stone masons, electricians, miners and truck drivers, with 300,000 rubles going to the winner in each category.  That’s the difference between Soviet ideology and that of the West.  Over there, they have to work for the prize.  Here, you can collect $640 million for just walking into a 7-Eleven.

Responding to complaints from around the world, Turkish shampoo manufacturer Biota Laboratories pulled a TV commercial that showed Adolph Hitler expounding the virtues of “Biomen Shampoo,” telling men that “You don’t wear ladies’ clothes, why use a ladies’ shampoo?”  Most complaints came from men who complained that using the product gave them an overwhelming desire to march on Moscow.

Amal Abdulfattah, Osama bin Laden’s youngest wife, has told investigators that she mothered four of his children while he was on the run for masterminding the 9/11 attacks on the World Trade Center, giving birth in state hospitals right under the noses of his pursuers.  Even more shocking, she claims she had to talk Angelia Jolie out of adopting two of them.

In a bold attempt to cut down on the accumulation of organic waste, the French village of Pince in northern France will give two free chickens to each of the town’s families.  It’s estimated that each chicken will consume 300 pounds of rubbish annually while providing each family with a daily supply of eggs.  In an impressive display of civic duty, the manager of the local KFC has offered to care for their birds when the families are out of town.
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BOB HOPE'S 1983 U.S. COLLEGE CAMPUS TOUR: Your Alma Mater Here?

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Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.

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