FRI, SAT, SUN, April 6, 7, 8, 2012

Scott Thompson, the new CEO of Yahoo hired away from PayPal to save the floundering company, has sacked 2000 employees -- 14% of the workforce.  To underscore his opinion that the employees let go had failed to keep up with emerging trends and technological advances that have taken place in just the last few years, he sent them their pink slips  by e-mail via AOL.com and then posted them on MySpace.

Ashton Kutcher who replaced Charlie Sheen on “Two and a Half Men” and shed his title as  Mr. Demi Moore, has been signed to play Steve Jobs in an independent film called "Swing Vote" to be directed by Joshua Michael Stern.  The movie really covers his whole life -- in an early scene, we see him at the Seattle Y playing “Pong” with little Billy Gates.    

The Texas Rangers have introduced their new $26 “Boomstick,” a hot dog with melted cheese, onions, and hot peppers on a bun the length of a baseball bat.  It weighs two pounds and in true Cooperstown tradition, delivers a coronary that makes your heart feel like it’s been hit on the stitches by a Louisville Slugger.

Turns out that the casualty figures from the U.S. Civil War may have been a lot higher than believed for over a century.  Rather than the accepted figure of 618,222, they may have been as high as 700,000.  Investigators have discovered that Abraham Lincoln ordered Privates Price and Waterhouse to keep track of them and then wrote the Gettysburg Address on the envelope they mailed their results in.

A film based on William Shakespeare’s “MacBeth” has been banned from all theaters in 
Thailand by the government censorship board which ruled that the movie is “devisive.”  That’s their official statement, but the real reason for the ban is the spot on Lady MacBeth’s dress looks too much like pho.

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Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.