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MONDAY, April 9, 2012


"Tiger has lost his mind," said CBS commentator Nick Faldo after Woods took himself out of the running at the Masters Tournament at Augusta National by angrily kicking his nine iron and carding a dismal 75.  Seems like the only one who can handle a nine iron in the Woods family anymore is his ex, Elin Nordegren.

Hoping to capture some of the excitement and much of the profit found in American football, India will field twelve professional teams under the banner the “Elite Football League.”  While many elements of the Indian version of the game will be similar to the NFL’s, there will be some noticeable differences.  For instance, there should be far fewer holding penalties – they’re hiring only untouchables to play offense.  

A study commissioned by BBC News found that there are five common myths associated with the Titanic’s sinking including the common belief that the ship was considered unsinkable and that third class passengers were locked below decks and not allowed on the lifeboats.  Biggest myth, though, is the belief that James Cameron will collect more from the 3-D version than he did the first time.

Dick Cheney, vice president under George W. Bush and avid hunter proficient with a 12-gauge, is reportedly doing well following his second heart transplant.  Could be problems for him ahead, though.  He was overheard asking his doctor, “What are these bolts protruding from my neck?”

After concluding that the rusting, 150-foot fishing trawler that broke away during the Japanese tsunami was a threat to navigation, the Coast Guard used on-board artillery to sink it.  Overall, the operation went well although it scared the hell out of the Warner Bros. film crew that was working on a sequel to “Mr. Roberts.”

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THE LAUGH MAKERS: A Leonard Maltin "Top 20" Year End Pick!

DOLORES HOPE MEDLEY

DOLORES HOPE "Silver Bells" (with Bob)

BOB HOPE'S 1983 U.S. COLLEGE CAMPUS TOUR: Your Alma Mater Here?


"Having spent twenty years writing for the indefatigable Bob Hope, and traveling all over the world, Bob Mills is well qualified to salute the famous corps of gag men who kept the comedian knee-deep in jokes. These first-hand recollections summon up the final phase of Hope’s career—and the end of the trail for an entire brand of show business."

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WakiLeaks: History Declassified 2000 (Vol. One) is now available on Kindle for $2.99

Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.

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