TUESDAY, April 3, 2012

Diamond mike wizard Vin Scully is starting his sixty-third season in the L.A. Dodgers broadcast booth, the longest reign of any living play-by-play peanuts and Cracker Jack icon.  To honor the affable redhead, Dodger management has invited him to throw out the first kidney stone on opening day.

Ostensibly to prevent terrorist attacks, a new law in Great Britain will allow the government to monitor all telephone calls, e-mails and texts of UK citizens.  But there could be medical ramifications.  For instance, one provision in the law imposes a fine and/or imprisonment for anyone caught e-mailing their dentist.

According to a study conducted by statisticians at the U.S. Bureau of Labor statistics, in 2010, 4547 workers out of a total of 130 million were died while at work.  The most common cause were accidents on the highway.  The workers most at risk were commercial fishermen closely followed by high-wire circus performers and Jet Blue pilots.

Over eighty percent of the membership of SAG and AFTRA voted to merge their two unions, providing one bargaining unit for all actors.  May be just a coincidence, but while the actors were voting, executives from Armour-Star were meeting with lawyers from Hormel to hammer out a merger of their ham processing, packaging and distribution units.

Rescue helicopters from Moscow’s Emergency Ministry rushed to save anglers drifting out to sea on an ice floe that broke off the island of Sakhalin.  An Italian cruise liner was rushing to pluck the survivors off the ice but tipped over while hot-dogging for the spectators on shore.     

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Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.