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TUESDAY, May 1, 2012




MISSILE MANIA -- After careful study of satellite photos, German ballistic missile experts Markus Schiller and Robert Schmucker have published findings that the mobile weapons proudly shown by the North Korean government during a parade in Pyongyang last month are probably enlarged plastic models.  Their suspicions were aroused by several obviously loose bolts, a flimsy-looking warhead, and a sign “For ages 8 and Up” stenciled on the side of one of them.   


LOVIN' IT --  The Brazilian Congress has launched a full-scale investigation into allegations that the McDonald's Corporation has been paying employees at its restaurants in Sao Paulo and Rio less than the minimum wage required by law.  According to an attorney representing the company, the salaries paid to counter and kitchen personnel are fairly and legally computed after taking into account  the standard 80 centavo per hour uniform charge for their paper hats. 


                                           

ROACH RAGE -- The Dutch Cannabis Retailers Association is appealing a Hague District Court ruling that would ban foreign tourists from entering the Netherland’s 700 “coffee shops” that supply Dutch citizens with legal marijuana.  The law is aimed at curbing abuses by French, British and Italian tourists and Americans Bill Maher, Willie Nelson and Woody Harrelson.


                                                                                                              
GRIDLOCKED -- New cutting-edge computer technology is being credited for allowing the L.A. Police Department to predict crimes before they occur.  The way the software works is high-crime areas are identified by type of crime and then a mile-wide circle is drawn around it.  For instance, a high drug-dealing area would be within the mile-wide circle drawn around Charlie Sheen.






ANIMAL MAGNETISM --  Researchers from the Baylor College of Medicine have discovered fifty-three cells in the brains of pigeons that appear to respond to changes in the earth’s magnetic field, giving the birds instructions on the direction they’re heading and their approximate distance from the ground.  The similarity to a built-in GPS device is even more striking.  When the magnetic field is changed, the birds hear a tiny voice that says “Recalculating.” 


Copyright (c) 2012 by Robert L. Mills  All Rights Reserved

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BOB HOPE'S 1983 U.S. COLLEGE CAMPUS TOUR: Your Alma Mater Here?


"Having spent twenty years writing for the indefatigable Bob Hope, and traveling all over the world, Bob Mills is well qualified to salute the famous corps of gag men who kept the comedian knee-deep in jokes. These first-hand recollections summon up the final phase of Hope’s career—and the end of the trail for an entire brand of show business."

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