PROTECTION RACKET -- A group of women stripped to their bras and marched on the main police station in Kampala, capital of Uganda to protest police misconduct in grabbing the breast of an anti-government activist, during a protest rally last week. One protester carried a sign saying “How would you like it if we squeezed your balls?” Must have sunk in. Several hours later, the chief of police was spotted at the local Big-5 buying a gross of MLB-approved batter’s cups.
AD SPACE -- New Hampshire-born free climber, alpinist and BASE jumper Dean Potter, successfully crossed the 6,000-foot Enshi Grand Canyon in China's Hubei Province using a more dangerous slack line instead of a high-wire. All expenses of the risky stunt were picked up by Dean’s American sponsor in exchange for his use of a balance pole shaped like a giant chopstick with "P.F. CHANG" printed on it.
ANDY GUMPED -- Thirty-five public service organizations in India have joined together to demand that women be given the right to urinate in public facilities for free as Indian men do now. Dubbed the “Right to Pee” campaign, the group is also demanding vending machines for sanitary napkins like mens’ condom dispensers. Their aim is to elevate sanitation conditions in Mumbai at least to the level of the New York Subway System.