THURSDAY, April 5, 2012

In a bold move to shake up the morning chat show ratings war, NBC hired Sarah Palin as a substitute host on the “Today Show.”  Co-hosting with regular Matt Lauer, she did well according to critics who waited vainly for her to commit a major gaff.  And during her on-air time she noticed something no one had ever noticed before – you can see CBS from the NBC broadcast booth.

In Paris, McDonald’s has debuted their latest attempt to “satisfy the local culinary preferences in countries other than the U.S.,” the McBaguette, a standard Big Mac served on the popular fresh-baked favorite.  Coming next, the McStrauss-Kahn which is like  the McBaguette except you eat it with your mistress.  

A British company called Intelligent Textiles has developed “e-textiles” that can be woven into soldiers’ uniforms to store battery power for devices that now require separate batteries like night vision goggles, two-way radios, cell phones and flashlights.  One real downside, though.  To charge your clothes, you have to sleep next to a Chevy Volt.

The Colorado Rockies have signed the oldest player still active in baseball today, 49-year old pitcher Jamie Moyer.  Team trainers insist he’s in shape to join the regular rotation and have made no accommodations due to his age.  Well, maybe one – they had to get special permission from MLB Commissioner Bowie Kuhn to install safety rails in the dugout.

Rachel Veitch, a  93-year-old grandmother from Boca Raton, Florida has, for health reasons, stopped driving her 1964 Mercury Comet after accumulating a total of 576,000 miles on the odometer over the past 48 years.  She credits the car’s longevity to the fact that she never, as so many of us do, skipped an oil change, taking it in religiously – every 50,000 miles.

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Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.