THURSDAY, August 9, 2012

38th PARALLELOGRAM -- Details surrounding North Korea's Supreme leader Kim Jong Un's recent wedding are filtering out to the West.  According to tradition, the bride wore something old (signed photo of Gen. MacArthur), something new (signed photo of Margaret Cho), something borrowed (crown belonging to Queen Latifa), and something blue (Smurf lashed to her garter belt).

PUMP YOU UP! -- Former California governor and silver screen terminator Arnold Schwarzenegger has turned sixty-five.  The familiar ol' iron-pumper is still in fine physical condition, though he might be slowing down a tad.  His next movie is entitled "A Caregiver Called Wanda."


PUMPING OARS -- A forty-eight year old Swedish kayaker is rowing three thousand miles from Bodega Bay, CA to Oahu, Hawaii alone in his five-foot boat.  He estimates that his solo voyage will take about two months -- more like two hours if a shark stalks him like it did that guy in Massachusetts.


BROWNIED -- Claiming that he had "inadvertently ingested food that contained marijuana," American judoka athlete Nicholas Deipopolo was thrown out of the London Games after a positive drug test.  On an even more positive note, before departing London, he snagged a bronze in the hop, skip and jump bail.


SHUTTLECOCKED -- A recent study on sports injuries concluded that those who pursue multiple sports are half as likely to be injured as those doing only one.  Of course some sports are inherently more hazardous.  For instance, according to the official Olympic Games Manual, danger wise, badminton, curling and synchronized swimming are considered one sport.

Copyright (c) 2012 by Robert L. Mills  All Rights Reserved

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Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.