TUESDAY, August 14, 2012

TIGER BALM -- The youngest pro to win a major since Tiger Woods, Irishman Rory McElroy won the PGA Championship by a record-breaking eight strokes.  Meanwhile, the once indomitable Tiger licked his wounds with a tie for eleventh.  It was a particularly hurtful number for him -- last year, his ex-wife, Elin Nordigren, found exactly eleven bimbos to testify against him.

DENTAL HIGH JINKS -- The Chairman of NBC Sports defended the network's decision to tape-delay certain Olympic events claiming it was to rake in more ad revenue during prime time in the states.  Turns out it was Buckingham Palace who had insisted on the tape delay to give NBC's video editors time to airbrush in some teeth on the British spectators who needed them.  

HOLY  WATER CRAFT -- Deep-sea treasure-hunters scouring the seabed off the Italian coast came upon an archaeological treasure -- a perfectly preserved sailing vessel that experts believe was built around the time of Christ.  In fact, he may have been a passenger.  A sign on one wall listed "Early" and "Late" Last Supper seating. 


TAUGHT BY EXAMPLE -- The City of Los Angeles recently filed a lawsuit against Time-Warner Cable to collect an outstanding bill.  Why would a cable company owe money to a city, you might ask.  Turns out, they've been filming municipal employees to help train their installers how to kill time while scheduled customers are waiting for them to show up.

CROSSOVER CANDIDATE -- Despite a strict "no-leaks" policy issued by the Romney campaign, news of his choice of Ryan as his vice-presidential running mate somehow filtered out across the Internet.  No harm done, but it could have caused some unintended embarrassment.  By the time Romney called a press conference to annoint Paul Ryan, Ryan Seacrest was halfway through writing his acceptance speech.

Copyright (c) 2012 by Robert L. Mills  All Rights Reserved

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Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.