;

White Man Speak With Forked Tongue

[] The Army has replaced its slogan "Army of One," used since 2001, with "Army Strong." (USA Today 10/10)

Complete motto: "Army Strong... but commander-in-chief is blithering idiot."

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[] A new study shows that marijuana may delay the onset of Alzheimers disease. (HBO 10/6)

Biggest clue came when Whitney Houston suddenly remembered she's married to Bobby.

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[] Rice meets with Iraqi prime minister Nouri Kamal al-Maliki on a surprise visit to Baghdad. (New York Times 10/6)

They discussed the insurgency, US troop strength and the possibility of hooking up after the war.

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[] Today, the high court justices ask many questions during oral argument, with the exception of the typically silent Clarence Thomas. (USA Today 10/6)

Who's the official poster boy for Bush-----the "Child Left Behind."

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[] Wrote Russian journalist Anna Politkovskaya, assassinated by agents of Vladimir Putin: "... Nobody seeks justice in law courts which flaunt their subservience and partisanship." (Associated Press 10/9)

Know any court like that?

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[] Pennsylvania congressman Don Sherwood apologized to his constituants for abusing his mistress. (New York Times 10/7)

Seems one of his weekly Motel 8 S&M sessions got a little rough while they were playing "Karl Rove Comes To Fix Ann Coulter's Faucet."

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[] Bob Woodward's book "State of Denial" claims that Henry Kissinger is a frequent guest at the White House to advise Bush on the Iraq war. (Associated Press 10/5)

He's reportedly in favor of invading Cambodia.

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[] After the ambassadors from Latvia and Thailand dropped out of the race for UN chief, South Korea's Bon Ki Moon was tapped to succeed Kofi Anon. (USA Today 10/6)

The final decision was made by Simon Cowell and Paula Abdul.

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[] French National Assembly will ban smoking in public places. (New York Times 10/6)

With the exception of that legally required after sex.

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[] Researchers have discovered a 379.1 foot tall Coast Redwood believed to be the world's tallest tree. ( SF Chronicle 10/8)

They did it by following the world's tallest dog.

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[] A New York man was released from prison after serving 21 years for a rape that DNA testing proved he didn't commit. (Cable News Network 10/6)

Lucky he didn't live in Texas. He'd have been dead now for 21 years.

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[] San Quintin death row inmate claims injection methods are poorly designed and administered by an untrained staff. (SF Chronicle 10/8)

Provided by Kaiser.

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[] Nimitz Class aircraft carrier "George Herbert Walker Bush" is christened at Newport News, Va. (Associated Press 10/8)

Sister ship, the "USS Rudderless," will honor his son's legacy.

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[] Schwarzenegger vetoes universal health care bill, labeling the plan "socialized medicine." (San Francisco Chronicle 10/8)

No surprise here. That's one of the reasons he defected from Austria.

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[] A Florida man has formed the first pizza deliverymans union. (Associated Press 10/8)

In the event of a wage dispute, if they fail to form a picket line within a half hour, they work free.

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[] Documentary "Jesus Camp" examines evangelical summer camps for kids. (San Francisco Chronicle 10/8)

Most popular of which is Jerry Falwell's "Camp Thump-a-Bible."

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"Having spent twenty years writing for the indefatigable Bob Hope, and traveling all over the world, Bob Mills is well qualified to salute the famous corps of gag men who kept the comedian knee-deep in jokes. These first-hand recollections summon up the final phase of Hope’s career—and the end of the trail for an entire brand of show business."

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