THURSDAY, August 2, 2012

NOT EASY BEING GREEN -- The Henson Company, creators of the Muppets, abruptly severed their long-standing promotional ties with the nationwide Chic-A-Fil Restaurant chain for their stance against gay marriage.  Chick-Fil-A promptly responded by condemning the Muppets' inter-species romance between a pig and a frog that they contend clearly violates at least three biblical prohibitions.

WAX IMPRESSION -- India suffered the most widespread electrical power outage in its history, causing 500 trains to screech to a halt, some in tunnels.  There was an immediate shortage of candles, suddenly the sole light source.  One Microsoft tech support employee was spotted beside a Delhi freeway on-ramp holding up a sign that said "Will Explain Windows 8 for a flashlight."


NO BUSINESS LIKE IT -- Preliminary talks are underway for a Broadway musical based on the life of Cher. If all goes as planned, the book will be written by Cher with music by Elton John and financing from the AMA.  It's tentative title is "Feathers, Beads and Sutures: A Salute to Reconstructive Surgery."


WOOF WOOF -- An enterprising young dog breeder is allowing tourists to exercise her dogs in New York's Central Park and charging them $15 an hour for the privilege.  Kind of reminds me of an escort service I once availed myself of during my bachelor days.  They also cost $15 an hour and they were dogs.


LIKE THIS -- AARP has launched a new social network designed for the 50% of Americans over 50 who are computer savvy.  It's a lot like Facebook with different terminology.  For instance, instead of a wall, users post photos and messages on something that looks like an "Early Bird" menu and instead of being "friended," you're "geezered."

ONE FOR THE ROAD -- This photo was taken in 1979 during our month-long visit to China to tape a 3-hour special.  An admitted
sweetsaholic, Hope became a frequent flier at the Peking Hotel’s ice cream bar which featured one of his favorites, chocolate mocha with sprinkles. But he had to pay a steep price when he got back home — six weeks at the Betty Ford on a non-fat yogurt drip. 

Copyright (c) 2012 by Robert L. Mills  All Rights Reserved

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"Having spent twenty years writing for the indefatigable Bob Hope, and traveling all over the world, Bob Mills is well qualified to salute the famous corps of gag men who kept the comedian knee-deep in jokes. These first-hand recollections summon up the final phase of Hope’s career—and the end of the trail for an entire brand of show business."


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Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.