;

FRI, SAT, August 10, 11, 2012

NASABULOUS! -- The digital photos and meteorological data being transmitted to earth from the Mars rover Curiosity has NASA staffers in a state of extraterrestrial euphoria.  They had a party last night that went well past ten and reports are the Tang was flowing like water.


 STOP THE PRESSES! -- With newspapers tanking faster than a late-afternoon extra, newsstand magazine profits are down 10% from last year.  Not even Playboy is immune to the rapid downturn in non subscription sales.  Hef has had to pare his per-page photography budget to the bone.  For instance, Miss October will be replaced by Miss Fourth Quarter.


CAN WE TALK? -- Furious with Costco for their refusal to stock her New York Times best-seller "I Hate Everyone... Starting With Me," Joan Rivers chained herself to a shopping cart outside their Burbank, CA store.  Police had to be called before Joan agreed to leave voluntarily.  No arrest was made but not for lack of effort.  Officers tried to handcuff her but couldn't find anything real enough to snap them onto.

 

DEAD LETTER OFFICE -- Rivaling the shocking stats on loans plunging college grads into a lifetime of debt, the Chronicle of Higher Education recently reported that the percentage of advanced degree holders on food stamps doubled in the past five years.  These people know how the stamps were made and from whence the paper they're printed on came -- but, unfortunately -- not how to saute them with garlic and parsley for dinner. 

 

ALL EARS -- Dire warnings of escalating food prices resulting from the record-breaking drought in the mid-west unfortunately fell on deaf ears at our house.  Last night, I took the gang to the pictures and made the mistake of not buying the popcorn raw for $5 a bag.  By the time the kid popped it, it was $3.88 a kernel.


Copyright (c) 2012 by Robert L. Mills  All Rights Reserved
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BOB HOPE'S 1983 U.S. COLLEGE CAMPUS TOUR: Your Alma Mater Here?

"Having spent twenty years writing for the indefatigable Bob Hope, and traveling all over the world, Bob Mills is well qualified to salute the famous corps of gag men who kept the comedian knee-deep in jokes. These first-hand recollections summon up the final phase of Hope’s career—and the end of the trail for an entire brand of show business."

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