THURSDAY, August 30, 2012

FULL HOUSE -- Seems the U.S. government got snookered in grand fashion after a judge ordered online poker site Full Tilt to pay a $730,000 fine for luring players into a Ponzi scheme.  Justice Department lawyers admit they were careless in specifying mode of payment - now they're trying to figure out what to do with 73,000 poker chips.

LA-DIEEEEE! -- According to vacation travel stats, Las Vegas still reigns as America's most popular Labor Day destination.  Now that Jerry Lewis is no longer hosting the MDA Telethon, they go there hoping to capture some of Jerry's magic by spotting a mob boss with too much pomade in his hair.


EMERGENCY ENTRANCE -- Stand-up and talk show icon Rosie O'Donnell recently suffered a heart attack and, thankfully, is now as good as new.  She attributes her
remarkable recovery to a crack ER staff, her highly qualified cardiologist, and Johnson & Johnson's new "EZ-Roll Plus-Size Gurney."

GERONIMO! -- Challenging the world's free fall record, Vienna skydiver Felix Baumgartner will jump from a hot air balloon 23 miles in space.  Reaching speeds up to 700 mph, he's hoping to eclipse the record of fellow Austrian Arnold
Schwarzenegger, who managed to fall almost that far while holding on to his maid.

MULE TRAIN -- California firefighters use pack mules to transport vital equipment to areas inaccessible by plane or helicopter.  Besides, the mules are much cheaper to maintain -- except those who work forests in Southern California whose ancestors appeared in films like "Treasure of Serra Madre" and "Mr. Ed."  They have agents and make well above scale.  

Copyright (c) 2012 by Robert L. Mills  All Rights Reserved

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