SUN, MON, August 12, 13, 2012

NOEL -- Snoop Dog, who recently changed his name to Snoop Lion claiming he had become the reincarnation of reggae icon Bob Marley, is having second thoughts and will appeal to the Federal Courts to change his name back.  Seems he's realized that he actually became the reincarnation of the Bob Marley in Charles Dickens' "A Christmas Carol."

TYPO -- For the first time in Olympic Games history, a diving competitor achieved a perfect score of zero-zero point zero-zero.  Easily explainable.  See, he speaks only German and the official Olympic schedule was printed only in English.  He simply misread "triple twist with a tuck" as "trip and lisp like a duck."


TAXI! -- Two New York taxi medallions — aluminum plates that grant the right to operate a yellow cab — sold last week for a record $1 million each, the highest recorded sale since the city began granting $10 licenses in 1937.  Before you scoff, the licenses come with certain extras -- such as a lifetime supply of fully-charged, rear-view mirror Christmas tree deodorizers.


NEW IN TOWN? -- In response to a UN study showing that legalizing prostitution worldwide would reduce the incidence of violence on women, a preliminary vote
was taken on the proposal.  You could tell right away which countries support legalization.  They left their marked ballots on UN Secretary General Ban Ki-moon's bedroom dresser.


STRUMMIN' & BUMMIN' -- Randy Travis entered a North Texas convenience store without any clothes and demanded a pack of smokes.  Asked how he intended to pay, he stormed out, rammed his Trans Am into another car and fled, cops in hot pursuit.  He's been charged with attempt to harm a police officer, felony retaliation and DUI.  Could be real trouble.  Randy's blood-alcohol test registered .22 -- with a bullet.  

Copyright (c) 2012 by Robert L. Mills  All Rights Reserved

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Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.