SUN, MON, August 19, 20, 2012

SMITH & WESSON 1-A -- In response to a state Supreme Court decision that prevented the University of Colorado from banning students carrying concealed firearms on campus, school authorities have designated a special dormitory designed specifically for students packing heat.  Housed there will be the well-known fraternity Gamma Delta NRA.

ONIONS AND RELISH? -- Forty-two-year old Paul Ryan, Mitt Romney's running mate, is concluding his seventh term as a Minnesota Congressman.  Dems point out that the only private sector job he's ever had was driving the Oscar Meyer Wiener-mobile.  Romantic story here.  He met his wife, Jana, when she was driving the Hostess Bun-mobile.

JENNY CRAIG'S LIST -- New Jersey Governor Chris Christie will deliver the keynote speech at the upcoming Republican National Convention in Miami.  Christie promises to discuss the GOP's open-tent policy for Latinos and gays and the party's platform.   Oops, did I say platform?  At 310 pounds, he IS the platform.

SWEAT HOG HEAVEN -- Ron Palillo, who played Horshack on the 1970s sitcom "Welcome Back, Kotter," along with John Travolta and Gabe Kaplan, died at age 74.   The stage-trained Shakespearean actor reluctantly took the role of the nasally neo-nerd for the money and was forever typecast -- much like Ryan Seacrest who will be known henceforth as "that bumbling, miscast Olympic games commentator."   

OH SOLO ROACHO -- Police in Rome stumbled upon a half-mile long pot farm in an abandoned World War II tunnel while investigating a strange aroma near Italy's Central Bank.   The smell must have been pretty potent.  Customers were opening new accounts for a free bag of chocolate-chip cookies.  

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Copyright (c) 2012 by Robert L, Mills  All Rights Reserved


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