FRI, SAT, August 24, 25, 2012

G-UNSTRUNG -- A study commissioned by the National Adult Entertainment Association found the average strip club tab at the Republican National Convention
is $150 while Dems traditionally part with about $50 each.  The difference is due to the GOPers not knowing where to tuck their bills so they tuck them everywhere.  

TALL ORDER -- "Anger Management," Charlie Sheen's new sitcom, has received one of the longest pickups in network history -- ninety episodes.  He's stunned.  The only times he's ever heard the word ninety was when a judge was sentencing him or a psychiatrist telling him to count backwards during hypnosis drug-aversion therapy. 


LITTLE JOE -- A wildfire is raging out-of-control in the parched, drought-dry forests north of Sacramento, California, already destroying 50 homes in its path. Dubbed the "Ponderosa Fire," arson investigators suspect it started during a rerun of "Bonanza" when they set that map on fire.


ROSIE OUTLOOK -- Admitting now to a classic case of denial, Rosie O'Donnell ignored symptoms of a heart attack and delayed seeing her doctor.  She credits taking an ordinary aspirin -- like you take for a headache -- for saving her life.   Women all over the country are paying attention -- now they tell their husbands, "Not tonight, I'm having a heart attack."


FANGS FOR THE MEMORY -- A farmer plowing his field in Bardanga, Nepal was bitten by a cobra and became so enraged that he chased it down and bit it to death with his bare teeth.  Doctors in nearby Kathmandu where he was taken for treatment credit his survival on the immunity to snake venom he inherited from his father, a lawyer.  

Copyright (c) 2012 by Robert L. Mills  All Rights Reserved  

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Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.