FRI, SAT, SUN, June 1, 2, 3, 2012

THE BUDDY SYSTEM -- Subbing for Piers Morgan, Regis Philbin welcomed longtime buddy David Letterman who dropped by the CNN chat show to schmooze for the full hour.  They discussed their early careers, Regis's memorable interviews on Dave's show, and their mutual heart bypass surgeries.  Then they demonstrated emergency heart attack protocol by giving each other mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. 


FANGS FOR THE MEMORY -- Forty-four year old preacher Mark Randall “Mack” Wolford died after being bitten by a rattlesnake he was holding as part of a cult service that’s based on the belief that the Bible commands followers to “test their faith” by handling venomous serpents.  Said the preacher, “This is a sign to show people that God has the power.”  God must have been preoccupied with that other pulpit pounder who wants to pen gays behind electric fences until they starve to death.

BETTER THAN A PINATA -- Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg celebrated his 28th birthday this week.  This news is more momentous than you might think.  You see, according to the leading astronomers,  the moon of Sirius is on the cusp of the Radials and in perfect alignment with Tiberius and that means that Mark’s age equals the exact amount of his wealth -- $28 billion.  According to the Mayan calendar, he will no longer age.  Pretty nice birthday present, no?

MARKETING MARAUDERS -- The decision by Macy's to institute a new marketing strategy stressing local needs and fashion tastes at their branches nationwide has paid off handsomely, with sales and average stock prices showing marked improvement.  For instance, their designer flack jackets with built-in holster and knife scabbard are flying off the shelves at their South Central LA and inner-city Chicago stores.

             YouTube VIDEO of the WEEK

MEDICAL MALPRACTICE -- This sketch parody of soap operas starring Bob Hope, Elizabeth Taylor, Richard Burton, Glenn Ford, and Anthony Geary was taped at NBC, Burbank in 1983.   Liz appears in a parody of "General Hospital," her favorite soaper.  Richard Burton was a surprise guest and was pressed into service as the "patient" when he stopped by the studio to pick up his wife for lunch.  

Copyright (c) 2012  by Robert L. Mills  All Rights Reserved

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Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.