TUESDAY, May 29, 2012

                    THE BUTLER DID IT!

Paolo Gabriele rides in the "pope mobile" with the Boss.
SO HARD TO FIND GOOD HELP -- The Vatican arrested Paolo Gabriele, Pope Benedict XVI’s personal butler who, based on papers found in his flat, is suspected of leaking highly sensitive materials involving corruption, mismanagement, cronyism, nepotism and suspicious payments made by the Vatican bank and events surrounding the recent firing of its president.  There's so much evidence of a pope-ordered cover up, the scandal is being referred to in the Italian press as “Holy Watergate.”

38th PARALLEL UNIVERSE?  --  As a plane circled to land at South Korea’s International Airport, one of its passengers spotted what appeared to be an unidentified flying object in the airspace about 1000 feet below.  The quick-thinking passenger activated his cell phone camera and took a video of the object (shown here).  The sighting raises several interesting questions:  Was the object piloted by an alien from another planet?  Did anyone on the ground see the object?  Aren’t cell phones supposed to be banned during takeoffs and landings?

                    SEARCH ME, FATHER
GROPING EXPERIENCE A PLUS -- Former Catholic priest Thomas Harkins, defrocked after being caught sexually abusing two young girls in the St. Anthony of Padua parish in Hammondton, NJ, now works for the TSA at the Philadelphia International Airport.   However, his superiors don’t consider his past a detriment.  On the contrary, they consider it “seasoning in the minors.”       

JURASSIC JAZZ FESTIVAL? -- A team of researchers from Oxford University report in the Journal of Human Evolution the discovery of what they believe are the earliest known musical instruments – a pair of flutes carved from ivory 45,000 years ago.  DNA taken from the mouthpiece of one of them indicates that it was played by an ancestor of Kenny G who probably worked in a section of the cave that served as a stone-age version of an elevator. 

READY... SET... WHAT? -- Over 27,000 marathoners, including some of the best in the world, have gathered in Edinburgh, Scotland  for that city’s tenth annual Marathon Festival.  Among them is the world’s oldest runner, Fauja Singh who is 101 and is signed up for the relay.   Fauja will will be given no special treatment in deference to his advanced age.  Well, maybe one.  Officials will double the usual amount of gun powder in the starter’s pistol to make sure he hears it.   


HAVE CLIPS, WILL TRAVEL -- Now booking shows for the summer and fall, "Bob Hope Backstage" is the perfect addition to your corporate seminar, workshop, convention or any venue where laughter is welcome.  This hour-long stroll down memory Lane is hosted by Bob Mills who recalls hilarious stories and anecdotes from his two decades on the road writing for Bob Hope.  Illustrated by actual video clips from the NBC specials he co-wrote, his unique presentation will take you from Peking to Bora Bora... Shanghai to Australia with stops in between.  You'll return to the Golden Age of television with Hope and guests like Elizabeth Taylor, Richard Burton, George Burns, Lucille Ball, and a host of others.  It's a perfect addition for your event that participants will never forget.  For full particulars, contact:  TheLaughMakers@GMail.com.  To view sample video clips from the shows:

Copyright (c) 2012  by Robert L. Mills  All Rights Reserved

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"Having spent twenty years writing for the indefatigable Bob Hope, and traveling all over the world, Bob Mills is well qualified to salute the famous corps of gag men who kept the comedian knee-deep in jokes. These first-hand recollections summon up the final phase of Hope’s career—and the end of the trail for an entire brand of show business."


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Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.