MONDAY, May 7, 2012


WE’LL ALWAYS HAVE PARIS -- The estate of the late actor Humphrey Bogart has filed a cease and desist lawsuit against London trench coat maker Burberry, alleging that the defendants used an image of the actor from the film “Casablanca” without permission.  In its counter suit Burberry asserts that the photo of the actor with co-star Ingrid Bergman in the film’s final scene was used not to sell coats but to illustrate a timeline of the popular garment’s history.   We’re with the Bogarts on this one.  Isn’t using Bogie’s image to illustrate the history of an overcoat a bit like using a photo of Marilyn Monroe with Joe DiMaggio to illustrate the history of New York Yankees dating Hollywood starlets?   

RAPPER RAPPED -- A New York Post columnist Phil Mushnick drew the ire of readers when he wrote a column that asks “Why the Brooklyn Nets when they can be the New York N------?   The cheerleaders could be the Brooklyn B------ or Ho’s. Team logo? A 9-mm. with hollow-tip shell casings strewn beneath.”  A formal statement issued by the team from their new headquarters in Brooklyn, said “We find the story offensive and inappropriate, and it doesn’t deserve further comment.”  Nets guard Anthony Morrow called for the columnist’s job, labeling him a “Clown and a Racist Bigot.”  Team part-owner, rapper JayZ reportedly told friends, “The mother------ stole my act!”

ROMANOV AND JULIETTE -- Russia’s newly-reelected president Vladimir Putin may be obsessed with single handedly bringing back the customs and habits of Russian czars of old.  According to information leaked to the press by workmen, for the past several years he has been constructing a veritable palace on a wooded mountainside overlooking the Black Sea complete with a huge colonnaded wrought-iron entryway, a courtyard, formal gardens, fountains, and a helipad.  Inside, the 10-bedroom mansion boasts a completely equipped theater, a gym, a spa and weight room, a full-size swimming pool, a squash court and quarters for household help and security personnel.  Vladimir is really getting into the spirit of the Russian Revolution.  He’s reportedly been interviewing applicants for a live-in mad monk.

OSAMA THESE DAYS -- Unclassified documents collected from Osama bin Laden’s hideout at the time of his execution reveal a frustrated al-Qaeda leader of an unruly network he was gradually losing control of.  The seventeen documents (from a cache of over 6,000) were posted online on the U.S. Military Academy, West Point’s web site.  They reveal that Osama was unhappy with al-Qaeda’s attacks on fellow Muslims and urged more terrorist strikes against the United States.  Military document experts were surprised that bin Laden had written a “bucket list” of things he hoped to accomplish before he died that included entries like “Host Saturday Night Live,” “Own a chain of used camel dealerships called ‘Osama’s Camelot’,” “Audition for ‘Dancing With the Stars’,” and “Sleep with a Kardashian.”   

DANCE, BALLERINA, DANCE -- Dame Monica Mason who will retire from her role as head of London’s Royal Ballet after 54 years next July told the UK’s Conference on Nutrition that eating disorders are more common among professional dancers than most care to admit and that the problem of anorexia must be addressed before it becomes epidemic.  She made her comments as keynote speaker during the welcome dinner which consisted of a watercress salad with low-fat dressing , Roast Robin’s Breast under glass, tofu in a light garlic and shallots marinade, cucumber slices on rye crisp, celery stalks with pimento, and watermelon sorbet.   Ensure.               

Copyright (c) 2012 by Robert L. Mills  All Rights Reserved

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