THURSDAY, May 3, 2012

HMS Titanic April 10, 1912 - April 15, 1912
ICE MAN COMETH -- Australian mining billionaire Clive Palmer has engaged a Chinese ship-building company to construct as close a replica of the ill-fated Titanic as possible incorporating the latest computer technology and safety features that will include enough lifeboats for every passenger, radar that will detect objects in the water up to five miles ahead and instant communication with the Coast Guard.  And they may need all of it.  There are reports that James Cameron has begun working on a perfect replica of the iceberg.  

"Let's see... I'll have -- "
FRIES WITH THAT? -- Customers lined up at a McDonald’s drive-thru window in Brush, Colorado were amazed when a cow sauntered into the line and stood there as though studying the menu board displayed nearby.  Police and animal control officers were called and, after analyzing DNA samples taken from the animal, determined that she had walked at least ten miles to attend a family reunion.

ZIPPIDY DOODAH -- Disney, the world's largest theme park owner, announced a deal with Starbucks, the world's largest coffee chain, to open stores in its theme parks at Disneyland Park and Walt Disney World Resort.  It’s the usual deal that Disney requires of all of their vendors – the Mouse collects a hefty percentage of the profits.  With those Starbucks prices, Disney accountants figure they’ll make back the massive losses from “John Carter” in about three weeks.

GNARLY HARLEY -- A Canadian beachcomber exploring British Columbia's Graham Island found a cargo container with a still operable Japanese motorcycle in it.  The container is believed to have floated across the ocean following last year’s tsunami.  The owner has not been identified, but there is one clue – a crumpled tee-shirt was found in the bike’s shopping basket with “EVEL SUKIYAKI” printed on it.

POST TIME! -- Hard to believe it’s time once again for that annual homage to the Sport of Kings, the Kentucky Derby.  Officials at Churchill Downs are thrilled to have signed pop icon Mary J. Blige to sing the traditional National Anthem.  And there’s an added attraction this year – in the winner’s circle, Willie Nelson will honor Kentucky’s contribution to Big Tobacco by smoking some of that local blue grass.

Copyright (c) 2012 by Robert L. Mills  All Rights Reserved

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