MONDAY, June 4, 2012

SOCCER MOM WAGON -- We had the pleasure this weekend of test-driving the 2012 Bugatti Veyron Grand Sport, the 1000 horsepower, 16 cylinder speedster that lists for $1.9 million.  We were impressed by the seven speed dual-clutch transmission with paddle shifters as well as the 0-60mph acceleration that takes but five seconds, give or take.  But what really caught our eye were the Slurpee-size cup holders (seven, count ‘em seven) and the extra handy dash-top fast food hot plate.

GLOVE DIDN’T FIT -- In Greensboro, North Carolina, former Senator and presidential candidate John Edwards was found not guilty of campaign finance fraud for using contributions to hide his pregnant mistress from the voters.  A mistrial was declared when the jury was hopelessly deadlocked on the other five counts of the indictment.  When the verdict was announced, out of habit Marcia Clark apologized for losing a slam-dunk case.     

OH, THANK HEAVEN -- Faced with staggering stats on the rise of obesity among those living in the Big Apple, New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg has called for a city-wide ban on the sale of sugar-based drinks larger than 12 ounces.  However, a ban on super-sized beverages sold in convenience stores may raise other health risks.  Many 7-Eleven customers have used their 40-ounce Big Gulp cups to deflect bullets during holdups.

LI’L ABNER – The History Channel’s “Hatfields & McCoys,” starring Kevin Costner, earned the highest cable ratings for a non-sports special ever.  The story concerns the famous hillbilly family feud that began during the Civil War and, after a brief period of peace at the turn of the century was reignited in 1958 when “Little Luke” McCoy, a cast member on “The Real McCoys,” tried to steal Ellie May from “The Beverly Hillbillies.”


            YouTube VIDEO of the DAY

WHISTLE BLOWER -- Comic actor Don Knotts forever changed the image of law enforcement when he pinned on a badge as Andy Griffith's deputy sheriff of Mayberry. To take full advantage of Barney Fife's invaluable experience as an authority figure in over his head and attempting to hide the fact, we cast him as the NFL's chief referee, "Moose" Terwilliger.  

This routine appeared on a special entitled "Stand Up and Cheer for the NFL's 60th Year" in 1981 and shows Don at his finest. 

Copyright (c) 2012 by Robert L. Mills  All Rights Reserved

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Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.