TUESDAY, May 8, 2012


MOLAR MADNESS -- Wroclaw, Poland dentist Anna Mackowiak, 34, got even with her former boyfriend, 45-year old Marek Olszewski who had jilted her three weeks before, when he came to her office for treatment of a toothache.  She sedated him and proceeded to extract all of his teeth one at a time.  He woke up with his jaw wired shut and his head bandaged, telling police (with some difficulty) that he “couldn’t  feel anything in his mouth.”  A week later, his current girlfriend dropped him because she “didn’t like kissing a toothless man.”  May be a happy ending, though.  Michael Douglas has hired him as a consultant on his next project –- “Fatal Attraction 2.” 

NOT FRUIT-OF-THE-LOOM -- According to an article in the New York Daily News by contributing writer Cristina Everett, supermodel Bar Rafaeli “… lets her body do all the talking in a nearly two-minute video to promote the new men’s collection of her line Under.Me.  The black and white clip starts with the Israeli beauty taking a bath, spliced with shots of her wearing a V-neck tee, undies and a pair of socks while she takes care of some household chores.  After Refaeli puffs away on a cigar, she gets to work on mowing the lawn and skimming the pool. To round out her male admirers’ fantasy, she then practices her baseball swing and plays a boxing video game.  But that’s enough dirty work for the model. Refaeli is then seen getting out of the bath and standing completely in the buff as she checks herself out in the mirror.”  If she’s still in the Israeli military, she can kiss her pension goodbye.

PUFF THE MAGIC DRAGON -- American David Edwards and French designer Philippe Starck introduced their new product last week in Paris  – a small aerosol device they call “WAHH Quantum Sensations” that when sprayed into the open mouth like a breath freshener delivers .075 ml of pure alcohol, enough to make the user feel like he’s ingested several gin martinis.  The item will sell for around $26 and delivers about 21 hits.  Drawback is that each hit lasts only a few seconds.  Test marketing indicates that the majority of buyers will be males who will use the device just enough to make the last girl left at the bar look okay.   

ONE RINGY-DINGY -- In what’s believed to be the largest jury verdict in a workplace discrimination suit in Missouri history, former AT&T employee Susann Bashir was awarded $5,000,000 in punitive damages by a Kansas City jury.  The plaintiff claimed she was harassed on the job after converting to Islam in 2005 and began wearing a veil to work.  She quit after a supervisor tore off her veil, exposing her hair -- and her -- to humiliation.  Best part is, because the defendant is AT&T, any portion of the judgment not collected during one year may be rolled over to the following year.

LENSCRAFTERS -- According to  study conducted by Professor Ian Morgan from the Australian National University, 80% to 90% of students in China, Japan and Korea have higher rates of myopia than their counterparts in other countries, believed due to rigorous study habits that keep them indoors.  Opthomologists believe that lack of adequate sunshine needed to produce eyesight-protective dopamine is a major cause.  As a gesture of international friendship and accommodation to the Chinese, the U.S. Treasury Department will begin printing all U.S. currency with larger numbers.

Copyright (c) 2012 by Robert Robert L. Mills   All Rights Reserved

Click here to add theme music to your reading experience...

The Laugh Makers on YouTube


THE LAUGH MAKERS: A Leonard Maltin "Top 20" Year End Pick!


DOLORES HOPE "Silver Bells" (with Bob)

BOB HOPE'S 1983 U.S. COLLEGE CAMPUS TOUR: Your Alma Mater Here?

"Having spent twenty years writing for the indefatigable Bob Hope, and traveling all over the world, Bob Mills is well qualified to salute the famous corps of gag men who kept the comedian knee-deep in jokes. These first-hand recollections summon up the final phase of Hope’s career—and the end of the trail for an entire brand of show business."


Even Animals Love "THE YouTube WORLDWIDE NEWS"!

THE LAUGH MAKERS is now on KINDLE! (And Kindle equipped devices)

Download THE LAUGH MAKERS to your Kindle within one minute (for $2.99) by clicking on this link:


And if you're not yet a Kindle owner, when you purchase your new lower-priced Kindle with a capacity of 3500 books, be sure to sign up for our daily blog so you won't miss one issue of the web's most entertaining and insightful comments on the day's events... or a single serialized installment of THE LAUGH MAKERS. Order your Kindle today!

WakiLeaks: History Declassified 2000 (Vol. One) is now available on Kindle for $2.99

Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.