SUN, MON, September 2, 3, 2012

EASTWOOD HO! -- First Lady candidate Ann Romney was said to be shocked and embarrassed by Clint Eastwood's unrehearsed convention address that was riddled with thinly-veiled allusions to unnatural sex acts.  Convention organizers theorize that Clint somehow gained access to the .357 Magnum -- not the gun -- the champagne.

BAG CITY -- This week, Boise, Idaho hosts the annual Spirit of Boise Hot Air Balloon Classic. Exciting the avid lighter-than-air crowd this year is the introduction of a light, compact, helium powered generator that produces 300 cubic feet of hot air per minute.  From 'LoonTronics, Inc., the "Limbaugh-300" is their best seller. 

MOUSE TRAP -- Disney-owned ESPN has struck a gigantic $5.6 billion, eight year deal to broadcast Major League Baseball games beginning in 2014.  Not that the Mouse Factory negotiators were patsies.  They not only landed the broadcast rights to all the games, but they'll receive exclusive advance notice of which Hollywood starlets Yankee rookies show an interest in.  

GOO-GOO-DA-DA -- The FDA has filed a complaint against the founder of the "Your Baby Can Read!" program, charging deceptive and misleading advertising that  proclaims that a 9-month old infant has the ability to read.  Please.  At nine months, a toddler in this country knows three phrases at most... "Sugar Pops," "McDonald's" and "Toys R Us."

SAY IT AIN'T SO, JOE -- Six hundred thousand Mr. Coffee Maker brewers sold at Bed, Bath & Beyond, Target and Walmart were recalled after sixty users were severely scalded by 300 degree steam that suddenly spewed from the machine during brewing.  Ever the spinmeisters, a company executive said, "We were surprised.  We didn't know that unit made espresso." 

Copyright (c) 2012 by Robert L. Mills  All Rights Reserved

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Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.