THURSDAY, September 20, 2012

JOINT CUSTODY -- A school district in Rhode Island has banned father-daughter dances and mother-son ball games on the grounds of sexual discrimination.  They modeled the law after the one Beverly Hills passed some years back.  For a different reason, of course.  So many dads showed up at the dances, they kept running out of food. 

PIGSKIN FOLLIES -- Those strike-induced NFL replacement referees are making lots more obviously bad calls than the team owners anticipated. Of course, some teams have been more gracious about the mistakes than others.  In fact, one sub was presented with the game ball.  Took a team of surgeons an hour and a half to remove it.

RIBOFLAVIN MAVENS -- A recent study commissioned by the National Nutrition Council found that folks who read the ingredient labels on grocery products are about ten pounds lighter than those who don't.  It gets even better for the label readers.  If they can accurately spell and pronounce all the chemical names, they're immediately hired by Dow.

STUPID MUSICAL TRICKS -- Barack Obama guested on the Letterman show and Dave may be thinking twice about it.  Amid recent charges of lax security, the Secret Service performed background checks on Dave's entire staff.  Paul Shaffer will have to get by with three missing musicians unless Dave springs for the bail.


COFFEE, TEA, METAMUCIL? -- A United Airlines flight attendant who was hired in 1949 recently retired amid much hoopla.  Now before you applaud him for spending 63 years waiting hand-and-foot on disgruntled and abusive passengers, you should be aware that he spent nineteen of those years searching for his luggage. 

Copyright (c) 2012 by Robert L. Mills  All Rights Reserved
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