SUN, MON, September 30, October 1, 2012

LUNCH BUNCH -- A boy and a girl have been suspended from Lancaster (CA) High School for fighting in the cafeteria line.  Both required medical treatment, the boy multiple sutures for a laceration over one eye from contact with a Parker House roll and the girl a tetanus shot for a gash resulting from a sharp slice of mystery meat.

WHEEL OF FORTUNE COOKIE -- Staten Island, New York is completing plans to build the world's tallest Ferris Wheel at 625 feet to wrest the record from Nanchang, China's 525 foot "Star of Nanchang."  Hold up here.  Since our interest payments financed the Chinese wheel, shouldn't we, in all fairness, get the credit for how tall the thing is?

BELOW THE FOLD -- Apple fans are about ready to storm the Bastille over their new map app that is falling far below expectations.  Apparently, Mac's engineers went overboard trying to make it so close to a real map, after customers use it they can't figure out how to fold their I-Pads back up. 


MEN HAVE NAMED YOU -- Swiss art experts claim they have definitive proof that the "Islesworth Mona Lisa" they recently unveiled was painted by Leonardo Da Vinci when the subject was ten years younger.  The evidence suggests that the paintings were "before" and "after" versions Leonardo produced for "Dr. Giovanni's Stretch 'n' Suture Clinic" outside Salerno.

DEARLY BELOVED -- Longtime critics of the inordinately high cost of dying in the U.S., from preparation of the loved one to the memorial service, are singing high praises for Costco's prices on good quality caskets.  One slight drawback though.  What are the chances of ten family members all dying at the same time?

Copyright (c) 2012 by Robert L. Mills  All Rights Reserved

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