FRI, SAT, September 14, 15, 2012

DEEP IN THE HEART -- Now the highest speed limit in the U.S., a toll road in Texas has raised theirs to 85 miles per hour.  And this despite a shocking 37% increase in highway fatalities over the past five years.  And that's just squashed armadillos. For some unexplained reason, Texans driving Cadillacs and 1953 Chevy pick-ups never seem to get hurt.

RUNWAY SCABS -- High-fashion designers in Stockholm and Paris are taking advantage of their non-unionized models by using non-salaried computer-generated
models in their Fall catalogues.  Never one to sit idly by in the face of opportunity, engineers at Apple have been working around-the-clock to come up with a bulimia-anorexia app.

FULL HOUSE BROKEN -- A Shenandoah Valley, Virginia flea market rummager who bought a box of "junk" for $7 now owns a painting by Pierre August Renoir believed to be worth in the neighborhood of $100,000.  Painted in 1878 during the artist's "Wild 'n' Wacky" period, the work is entitled "Five French Poodles Playing Baccarat."

MC CHOLESTEROL -- Keeping one step ahead of a federal mandate, McDonald's has become the first national fast food emporium to post calorie counts beside all menu
items.  There's some cross-pollination in evidence here, too.  For instance, on Sesame Street, the tots are taught the number 600 by studying a picture of a Sausage McMuffin.

3:10 TO YUMA -- Figures released by the the U.S. Border Patrol indicate that fewer illegal aliens were apprehended trying to cross the U.S.-Mexico border during August than at any time since records have been kept.  Here's how easy-peasy it's become -- a green card is now accepted as a valid voter ID in the state of Arizona. 


Copyright (c) 2012 by Robert L. Mills  All Rights Reserved

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