THURSDAY, October 4, 2012

ARGGG -- A study by the AP in Mogadishu, Somalia determined that the once thriving and lucrative pirate industry has fallen on hard times, dropping from a high
of 47 pirated ships in 2010 to a paltry five so far this year.  Experts credit the armed guards now posted on cargo ships, increased coast guard patrols and a worldwide shortage of parrots.

MEA CULPA -- A papal butler has gone on trial in the Vatican, charged with the theft of documents he gave to author Gianluigi Nuzzi whose book "His Holiness: The Secret Papers of Pope Benedict XVI" became a best-seller and is widely considered the most damaging expose of a world leader since Kitty Kelly's hatchet job on Frank Sinatra.

FAT FIDOS -- Veterinarians at Tufts University now have a clinic exclusively devoted to obese pets.  While a healthy diet is obviously important, exercise seems to be the key.  Concerned owners are now being advised to train their pups to sit, stay, roll over, and give me fifty.


PEACEFUL USES -- Magician David Blaine, ever searching for an even more impossible-sounding feat, will attempt to cling to life as one million volts course through his body.  Could be awhile before he attempts this one, though.  He plans to use electricity from nuclear-powered generators in Iran. 

BOO BOW WOW -- According to a survey conducted by the American Retailers Association, Americans will spend a whopping $370-million this just to costume their pets.  Wooh, hold up here.  Isn't it pot and kettle calling to put a Snooki mask on your dog?

Copyright (c) 2012 by Robert L. Mills  All Rights Reserved

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