;

TUESDAY, October 30, 2012

ALL AROUND THE TOWN -- New York City was slammed by a "Bliz-za-Cane" that shut down the Stock Exchange,  the subway system and all Broadway shows.   The 80-mile-per hour winds were strong enough to wear off words carved in marble.  The inscription on Lady Liberty's statue now reads "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to be dry..."
 
 

NATIONAL VELVET -- According to “Elizabeth Taylor: There Is Nothing Like a Dame,” a new biography by Darwin Porter and Danforth Prince, Liz had a teen-age affair with 36-year old Ronald Reagan.  And he had a way with words even then.  He promised her a night of Sealy calisthenics followed by "a new morning in Beverly Hills." 


MAID'S DAY OFF -- Arnold Schwarzenegger, even at 65, will reprise his role of 1982's "Conan the Barbarian" which launched his film career.   With accommodations for his "maturity," of course.  For instance, instead of raping and pillaging, he rapes and searches for restaurants with an "Early Bird" menu.   
 

JOB INTERVIEW -- The bad news:  In Los Angeles, a 72-year old woman plowed her BMW sedan through the front doors of a Target store injuring herself and two shoppers.  The good news:  She looked so natural lying in the doorway they hired her as a greeter as soon as the cast comes off.   

 

GENETIC HISTRIONICS -- The billionaires and corporations sympathetic to Big Ag's all-out campaign to defeat California's Proposition 37 that would require labeling genetically-altered foods have even stooped to defacing one of America's most beloved icons.  In one ad, they show Charlie the Tuna with bolts protruding from his gills.




Contents Copyright (c) 2012 by Robert L. Mills  All Rights Reserved

Click here to add theme music to your reading experience...

THE LAUGH MAKERS: A Leonard Maltin "Top 20" Year End Pick!

DOLORES HOPE MEDLEY

DOLORES HOPE "Silver Bells" (with Bob)

BOB HOPE'S 1983 U.S. COLLEGE CAMPUS TOUR: Your Alma Mater Here?


"Having spent twenty years writing for the indefatigable Bob Hope, and traveling all over the world, Bob Mills is well qualified to salute the famous corps of gag men who kept the comedian knee-deep in jokes. These first-hand recollections summon up the final phase of Hope’s career—and the end of the trail for an entire brand of show business."

http://www.leonardmaltin.com/2009YearEndBookSurvey.htm

Even Animals Love "THE YouTube WORLDWIDE NEWS"!


THE LAUGH MAKERS is now on KINDLE! (And Kindle equipped devices)

Download THE LAUGH MAKERS to your Kindle within one minute (for $2.99) by clicking on this link:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0041D9EPO

And if you're not yet a Kindle owner, when you purchase your new lower-priced Kindle with a capacity of 3500 books, be sure to sign up for our daily blog so you won't miss one issue of the web's most entertaining and insightful comments on the day's events... or a single serialized installment of THE LAUGH MAKERS. Order your Kindle today!


WakiLeaks: History Declassified 2000 (Vol. One) is now available on Kindle for $2.99

Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004IZLXIQ