TUESDAY, October 30, 2012

ALL AROUND THE TOWN -- New York City was slammed by a "Bliz-za-Cane" that shut down the Stock Exchange,  the subway system and all Broadway shows.   The 80-mile-per hour winds were strong enough to wear off words carved in marble.  The inscription on Lady Liberty's statue now reads "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to be dry..."

NATIONAL VELVET -- According to “Elizabeth Taylor: There Is Nothing Like a Dame,” a new biography by Darwin Porter and Danforth Prince, Liz had a teen-age affair with 36-year old Ronald Reagan.  And he had a way with words even then.  He promised her a night of Sealy calisthenics followed by "a new morning in Beverly Hills." 

MAID'S DAY OFF -- Arnold Schwarzenegger, even at 65, will reprise his role of 1982's "Conan the Barbarian" which launched his film career.   With accommodations for his "maturity," of course.  For instance, instead of raping and pillaging, he rapes and searches for restaurants with an "Early Bird" menu.   

JOB INTERVIEW -- The bad news:  In Los Angeles, a 72-year old woman plowed her BMW sedan through the front doors of a Target store injuring herself and two shoppers.  The good news:  She looked so natural lying in the doorway they hired her as a greeter as soon as the cast comes off.   


GENETIC HISTRIONICS -- The billionaires and corporations sympathetic to Big Ag's all-out campaign to defeat California's Proposition 37 that would require labeling genetically-altered foods have even stooped to defacing one of America's most beloved icons.  In one ad, they show Charlie the Tuna with bolts protruding from his gills.

Contents Copyright (c) 2012 by Robert L. Mills  All Rights Reserved

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