FRI, SAT, SUN, March 2, 3, 4, 2012

The Carnival Cruise Line’s Costa Allegra, crippled by an engine room fire, now drifts aimlessly in the pirate-infested Indian Ocean with no air conditioning, food refrigeration, stateroom plumbing, or electricity. Worse, without electric guitar backup, Kathy Lee Gifford has to sing a capella.

Fans of unbridled flag-waving are flocking to see “Act of Valor” about a Navy Seal team like the one that terminated Osama.  Its opening weekend $36 mil gross was well-earned by producers who had a hard time financing the $12 mil film.  Obama kept vetoing their budget.

Seeking forgiveness from Michigan Republican voters for recommending bankruptcy for failing Detroit auto-makers, Mitt Romney told them that his wife drives two Cadillacs -- both of which have built-in dog-carriers on the roof.

Automotive engineers in the UK have developed an alarm system that can observe driving habits and warn a driver when he’s putting himself in danger.  Great, but how about a device that will warn British chefs when they’re endangering diners? 

A new study published in the British Medical Journal indicates that ski-helmets lower the risk of head injury by 35%, but most skiers prefer the more fashionable ski-mask. Unfortunately, they say they’ll  switch to helmets only if bank robbers do.

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BOB HOPE'S 1983 U.S. COLLEGE CAMPUS TOUR: Your Alma Mater Here?

"Having spent twenty years writing for the indefatigable Bob Hope, and traveling all over the world, Bob Mills is well qualified to salute the famous corps of gag men who kept the comedian knee-deep in jokes. These first-hand recollections summon up the final phase of Hope’s career—and the end of the trail for an entire brand of show business."


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WakiLeaks: History Declassified 2000 (Vol. One) is now available on Kindle for $2.99

Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.