TUESDAY, March 27, 2012

According to a report from the National Orthopaedic Council, American teens suffer more debilitating knee injuries that ever before.  Causes cited are gym classes that provide insufficient warm-up, un-hall-monitored horseplay and guys trying to impress girls by imitating Tim Tebow.

Bowing to years of unrelenting criticism from human rights groups and anti-war demonstrators, the Pentagon has officially discontinued the use of water boarding as a form of “enhanced interrogation” of terrorist suspects.  And Americans can thank Disney.  From now on, sensitive intelligence data will be extracted by forcing them to sit through John Carter.

Samuel Glazer, the man who revolutionized coffee brewing by inventing the first fully-automatic coffee maker with pre-set controls that he named “Mr. Coffee” and hired Joe DiMaggio to advertise, has died at age 89.    Starbuck’s formally inducted Glazer into the Java Hall of Fame in Cooperstown where he received their highest honor, a 21-espresso machine salute.

A 50-foot Japanese fishing vessel swept out to sea by the 2011 tsunami has been spotted adrift off the west coast of Canada by a Canadian Air Force plane on routine patrol.  There was initial confusion at the first sighting – since there appeared to be no captain or crew on board, it was thought to be an Italian cruise liner in danger of sinking.

Challenging a European tradition that places a high premium on leisure time, voters in Switzerland rejected a ballot measure that would have required that every citizen be given six-weeks’ vacation annually.  Contrary to what you might assume, altruism had nothing to do with it.  The voters had a choice – either the vacation or a free Rolex.  

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DOLORES HOPE "Silver Bells" (with Bob)

BOB HOPE'S 1983 U.S. COLLEGE CAMPUS TOUR: Your Alma Mater Here?

"Having spent twenty years writing for the indefatigable Bob Hope, and traveling all over the world, Bob Mills is well qualified to salute the famous corps of gag men who kept the comedian knee-deep in jokes. These first-hand recollections summon up the final phase of Hope’s career—and the end of the trail for an entire brand of show business."


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Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.