THURSDAY, March 29, 2012

German luxury car maker BMW has recalled 1.3 million number 5 and 6 series models sold between 2003 and 2010 to address a battery connector problem that may cause the engine to burst into flames.  Owners are directed to take their cars to an authorized BMW dealership.  Not for repairs, however – to allow the dealers to replace the BMW hood ornaments with Chevy Volt logos.

Suffering his first heart attack at age 47, 71-year old former Bush vice-president Dick Cheney underwent his second heart transplant and is up and walking around according to his physician Dr. Jekyl.  While reporters scrambled to be the first to get a statement on Cheney’s condition, his PR spokesman, Mr. Hyde, was non-committal.  

Opening with the highest box office grosses for a non-sequel in Hollywood history, “The Hunger Games” packed ‘em in to the tune of $214.3 million.  The name is “Hunger Games” – not to be confused with the Republican presidential race, “The Strictly-From-Hunger Games.” 

Director James Cameron and Oscar-winning actress Kate Winslet were on hand in London for the red-carpet premier of the new 3-D version of their 1997 blockbuster “Titanic.”  The reformatted film almost didn’t make it to the screen.  With 3-D to help him, the captain spotted the iceberg well in advance and was able to successfully avoid hitting it.  He had to turn the ship around and deliberately run into it just for the sake of the story.

With the backing of the French Department of Tourism, work will begin in early 2014 on a theme park near Paris that will commemorate the life of Napoleon Bonaparte.  Expected to rival nearby Euro-Disney, the park will feature similar visitor attractions such as the “Let Them Eat Cake Restaurant,” an old time saloon called “The Elba Room,” a period train ride that runs on “Toulouse la Tracks,” and restrooms that will be officially called “Water ‘Loos.”  

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Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.