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TUESDAY, March 13, 2012

Hard to believe that it’s time once again for that sweet sound of bat on ball and cleats in the dugout -- the MLB exhibition season is formally underway.  Hot prospects from the minors will struggle to make the bigs as budding starlets from Central Casting compete to date the Yankees.

Bentley Motors has begun marketing their new $190,000 , 600-horsepower SUV.  It comes equipped standard with its own satellite GPS system, an oak-paneled bar, and the “Mitt Romney Safari” model comes with a live animal carrier built into the roof.

A couple of senior citizens in California have become the oldest couple ever to apply for a marriage license in that state.  The groom is 98, the bride is 95 and if you care to send a gift, they’re registered at “Bed, Bath & Beyond the Beyond.”

For the first time in decades, the Harvard University basketball team has qualified to compete in this year’s NCAA tournament.  Try as they might to blend in, their players are distinguished by tattoos in Latin that spell out familiar passages from Oliver Twist.

After a disastrous run for last year’s pennant, management of the Boston Red Sox have banned players from drinking alcohol on flights to and from away games.  Which can mean only one thing -- players will be crowding the airport bar even earlier than the pilots.

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THE LAUGH MAKERS: A Leonard Maltin "Top 20" Year End Pick!

DOLORES HOPE MEDLEY

DOLORES HOPE "Silver Bells" (with Bob)

BOB HOPE'S 1983 U.S. COLLEGE CAMPUS TOUR: Your Alma Mater Here?

"Having spent twenty years writing for the indefatigable Bob Hope, and traveling all over the world, Bob Mills is well qualified to salute the famous corps of gag men who kept the comedian knee-deep in jokes. These first-hand recollections summon up the final phase of Hope’s career—and the end of the trail for an entire brand of show business."

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WakiLeaks: History Declassified 2000 (Vol. One) is now available on Kindle for $2.99

Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.

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