THURSDAY, March 22, 2012

When a Little League team in Orange County, CA reported the theft of all their equipment, a nearby strip club held a fund-raiser “pole night” to provide the $1200 needed for replacements.  The team was so grateful, they changed their name from the Anaheim Red Sox to the Anaheim G-Strings.

For the first time in their long history, a six-year old has been accepted to compete in the prestigious National Spelling Bee.  But already, it looks like the judges are extending her special privileges due to her age.  For instance, when she asks the moderator to “Please use the word in a sentence,” they’ve hired Big Bird from Sesame Street to perform the honors.

Seeking cost-savings and a more “contemporary” look, both Campbell Soup Company and H. J. Heinz Company are testing consumer reaction to soups and sauces packed in pouches rather than cans.  In a turnaround believed to be a strange coincidence, squirrels in New York’s Central Park have been observed lately storing their nuts in cans rather than pouches.

In London, preparations are well underway for Queen Elizabeth’s Diamond Jubilee and Her Majesty is reported to be “thrilled” that her grandson, Prince William, will be riding with his regiment in the Grand Opening Parade.  Prince Bill will be aboard a filly named “Camilla” whom he named after his step-mom. Okay.  Okay.  It was just a little joke that got out of hand.

Industry experts predict that the two-and-a-quarter hour, $350 million movie “John Carter” is poised to lose up to $200 million for its producer Disney Studios, which would rank it among the biggest flops in cinematic history.  The BBC’s Mark Kermode wrote, “The story is incomprehensible.” Another critic sniffed, “John Carter, indeed – it would have been more exciting to watch Jimmy Carter building houses for the poor.”      

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Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.