WEDNESDAY, March 7, 2012

Vladimir Putin has again won the presidential election in Russia.  According to exit polls, he won over the voters by promising he’d ban partial birth interrogations and provide free morning-after pills to co-eds at the University of Minsk.

According to a recent Gallup poll, 32% of Americans consider Iran the most dangerous threat to America.  In second place is North Korea.  Tied for third are China and BP.

Looks like we need to bribe students in our ongoing attempt to catch up to the Chinese.  A Cincinnati high school awards a Visa Card with a $25 credit to outstanding students.  Big deal.  In China, the outstanding kids get a part ownership in Bank of America.

NBC is working on a new show based on the life of the cannibalistic imprisoned madman “Hannibal Lecter” who eats any kind of living flesh.  They’re also developing a female version to be called “Kirstible Alleyter.”

London’s University of Lincoln has developed a computerized system of detecting defective potatoes on a conveyor belt using components available off-the-shelf.  Oh, boy -- if used by TSA screeners, maybe they'll omit their foreplay.

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Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.