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WEDNESDAY, August 10, 2011

The Cellar at New York City's ultra-trendy eatery Beecher's now offers a specialty martini that tastes like a grilled cheese sandwich.  And for non-Jewish martini-lovers, there's even a ham-flavored olive.

Kobe Bryant may sign to play off-season basketball in Turkey.  He hasn't actually announced that yet, but there are plenty of tip-offs. He signed a two-month lease on the penthouse at the Ankara Hilton, he has six belly-dancers on call and he's hired a diamond ring expert from Van Cleef &
Arpels as a valet.    

Bill Gates has offered $41.5 million for the designer who can come up with a better toilet.  There are some pretty interesting prototypes on the drawing board already.  One model, designed especially for young parents, features a low level potty-trainer, a slot for used diapers and a dead turtle chute.

Faced with a homeless population that's even worse than that in the U.S., a Dehli-based home builder is offering a dwelling ready for immediate occupancy that sells for $750 and can be assembled in seven days.  Terrific if you've got a week to lock together 6,387,412 Lego pieces.

Rumors are racing around the NFL that Brett Favre, on-again-off-again Green Bay QB, may be acquired by the Eagles as a backup for Michael Vick.   Probably won't happen, though, because Philadelphia coaches are wary that Farve, known to work like a dog and fight with team owners, might cause Michael to relapse.

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THE LAUGH MAKERS: A Leonard Maltin "Top 20" Year End Pick!

DOLORES HOPE MEDLEY

DOLORES HOPE "Silver Bells" (with Bob)

BOB HOPE'S 1983 U.S. COLLEGE CAMPUS TOUR: Your Alma Mater Here?

"Having spent twenty years writing for the indefatigable Bob Hope, and traveling all over the world, Bob Mills is well qualified to salute the famous corps of gag men who kept the comedian knee-deep in jokes. These first-hand recollections summon up the final phase of Hope’s career—and the end of the trail for an entire brand of show business."

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WakiLeaks: History Declassified 2000 (Vol. One) is now available on Kindle for $2.99

Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.

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