THURSDAY, August 4, 2011

A Mississippi dad was cited by police when they discovered he had allowed his eight-year old son to drive the family car for more than forty miles on a major interstate.  The father told police he was putting safety first -- the boy was the only one in the vehicle wearing shoes.

Now that NFL owners and players have reached an agreement, training camps are back in full swing.  And not a moment too soon.  Apparently a lot of players spent their time during the lockout pounding down the Big Macs -- eight out of ten wide receivers now are. 

America's largest clothing chain, the Gap, is making an all out effort to redefine its image after failing to post a profit since 2005.  A recent survey showed the brand is viewed unfavorably when compared to its closest competitors Old Navy and Banana Republic.  Even worse, it ranks below a real banana republic -- El Salvador.   

One of the provisions in the newly-ratified agreement between NFL players and owners is an "educational outreach program."  The players will return to their colleges on alumni day and apologize to their classmates who had to actually
attend classes to earn their degree.

Long thought to be the result of a shrinking population, the exodus of nude Germans sunbathers at formerly popular Baltic seaports has finally been explained.  The Germans haven't given up nude sunbathing -- they just decided to invade the beaches in Poland.

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DOLORES HOPE "Silver Bells" (with Bob)

BOB HOPE'S 1983 U.S. COLLEGE CAMPUS TOUR: Your Alma Mater Here?

"Having spent twenty years writing for the indefatigable Bob Hope, and traveling all over the world, Bob Mills is well qualified to salute the famous corps of gag men who kept the comedian knee-deep in jokes. These first-hand recollections summon up the final phase of Hope’s career—and the end of the trail for an entire brand of show business."


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WakiLeaks: History Declassified 2000 (Vol. One) is now available on Kindle for $2.99

Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.