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MONDAY, August 8, 2011

The Board of Directors of the Muscular Dystrophy Association removed Jerry Lewis as their national director after 45 years.  Some thought the way they notified him was a tad unfeeling -- a six-word telegram that said "From now on you're walking alone."

To help smooth the transition of military personnel re-entering civilian life, President Obama has proposed a "boot camp" to reacclimate the former GIs.  Included in the training would be reveille at 8am to encourage sleeping in, two-block marches walking the family dog and finger calisthenics operating the TV remote.

This year marks the 100th anniversary of the famous Rolls-Royce hood ornament, "Spirit of Ecstasy."  According to legend, it's the Greek god Venus pursuing Atlas.  Actually, she's glancing back at the driver with a look that says "What kind of idiot would pay this much for a car that gets such lousy gas mileage?" 

Texas governor Rick Perry hosted an evangelical answer to the country's problems at Houston's Reliant Stadium with an event he called "Prayer-0-Palooza," featuring sermons, hymns and spiritual enlightenment.  Highlight was when Lady Gaga came out and turned her dress into loaves and fishes.

McDonald officials in Beijing announced they'll open one new restaurant a day over the next four years.  All 1420 restaurants will feature a culture-friendly menu more in tune with China's culinary history -- Kung Pao Chicken McNuggets, Moo Shoo McPork and Peking McDuck.
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THE LAUGH MAKERS: A Leonard Maltin "Top 20" Year End Pick!

DOLORES HOPE MEDLEY

DOLORES HOPE "Silver Bells" (with Bob)

BOB HOPE'S 1983 U.S. COLLEGE CAMPUS TOUR: Your Alma Mater Here?

"Having spent twenty years writing for the indefatigable Bob Hope, and traveling all over the world, Bob Mills is well qualified to salute the famous corps of gag men who kept the comedian knee-deep in jokes. These first-hand recollections summon up the final phase of Hope’s career—and the end of the trail for an entire brand of show business."

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WakiLeaks: History Declassified 2000 (Vol. One) is now available on Kindle for $2.99

Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.

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