WEDNESDAY, June 8, 2011

The US Marshals Service recently auctioned off convict Bernie Madoff’s personal effects and sold his underwear for $200.  Bernie had his shorts custom made by an exclusive men's clothier in Milan -- maybe you’ve heard of them  “Ponzi-of-the-Loom?”  

Former California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger may be prosecuted for using Highway Patrol officers to drive his mistresses from the airport to Arnold's hotel.  Legislators became suspicious when they noticed the state police budget included a "Bimbo Unit."

South Carolina football coach Steve Spurrier has proposed that the NCAA allow colleges to pay $300 to players who suit up for each game.  The players are all for it.  Three Benjamins would help keep the tanks in their NFL-supplied Escalades topped off.

To overcome the age-old fears of high school science students to perform dissections on live frogs, a California school will allow virtual dissections on a computer.  That’s the good news.  The bad news is, they’re using Kermit.

Despite a powerful contingent of shareholders calling for McDonald’s CEO to can Ronald, Jim Skinner held to his guns and refused.  Which means the only clown fired so far this year was Charlie Sheen. 

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"Having spent twenty years writing for the indefatigable Bob Hope, and traveling all over the world, Bob Mills is well qualified to salute the famous corps of gag men who kept the comedian knee-deep in jokes. These first-hand recollections summon up the final phase of Hope’s career—and the end of the trail for an entire brand of show business."


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Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.