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MONDAY, June 13, 2011

China's economic expansion appears to be slowing down slightly. How do we know this, you might wonder.  Well, now when we get behind on our loan payments, two guys named Kung and Pao threaten to make Ben Bernake a new set of kneecaps.

After months of delicate negotiations, NBC has agreed to pay $4 billion for the rights to televise the Olympic Games.  To justify their investment, record Nielsen ratings are imperative.  To woo the typical couch potato, they're renaming the Games "American Idle."

Delta Airlines squandered what little positive brand identification they had by charging a group of soldiers returning from Afghanistan $2800 for extra baggage.  In response, the Pentagon has instituted a new policy called "Don't Ask, Don't Fly Delta."

Newt Gingrich returned home from a two-week cruise to the Greek Isles to find almost  his entire campaign staff had resigned.  The only top level staffers he could get to return his calls work at Tiffany's.

Asked by reporters to describe the hardest part of being sent to prison on a gun charge, former NY Giant NFL standout Plaxico Burress said, “You don’t want a cellmate named ‘Crowbar’ when your first name is ‘Plaxico’.”
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THE LAUGH MAKERS: A Leonard Maltin "Top 20" Year End Pick!

DOLORES HOPE MEDLEY

DOLORES HOPE "Silver Bells" (with Bob)

BOB HOPE'S 1983 U.S. COLLEGE CAMPUS TOUR: Your Alma Mater Here?

"Having spent twenty years writing for the indefatigable Bob Hope, and traveling all over the world, Bob Mills is well qualified to salute the famous corps of gag men who kept the comedian knee-deep in jokes. These first-hand recollections summon up the final phase of Hope’s career—and the end of the trail for an entire brand of show business."

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WakiLeaks: History Declassified 2000 (Vol. One) is now available on Kindle for $2.99

Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.

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