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TUESDAY, June 7, 2011

Lindsay Lohan is under six-months house arrest in her Santa Monica beach house formerly owned by actor Harrison Ford.  After she completes her sentence, she plans to open her home to other addicts and name it the Harrison Ford Clinic.


NASA has officially taken the Space Shuttle Endeavor out of service and sent the reliable old bird to California where she will be completely refurbished, repainted, re-outfitted and placed on permanent display as a symbol of unwavering service and incalculable benefit to our nation.  No -- wait -- sorry, that's Oprah.


An income tax examiner was recently sentenced to three years in federal prison for failure to file his income tax return.  Actually, he was supposed to begin serving his sentence on June 1, but he filed for and gave himself an extension.


Cultivating pot for personal use has become so popular in Arizona, there's now a canubus  nursery supply store in Phoenix.  Arizona is the only state where Mexicans can be arrested for not having a green card while the white people they work for are allowed to have green fingers.


After numerous unsuccessful attempts to contact it, NASA has shut down the Mars Spirit Rover.  The good news is, Detroit is interested in buying the rights to the rover's engine design.  It ran for over ten years on Tang. 
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THE LAUGH MAKERS: A Leonard Maltin "Top 20" Year End Pick!

DOLORES HOPE MEDLEY

DOLORES HOPE "Silver Bells" (with Bob)

BOB HOPE'S 1983 U.S. COLLEGE CAMPUS TOUR: Your Alma Mater Here?

"Having spent twenty years writing for the indefatigable Bob Hope, and traveling all over the world, Bob Mills is well qualified to salute the famous corps of gag men who kept the comedian knee-deep in jokes. These first-hand recollections summon up the final phase of Hope’s career—and the end of the trail for an entire brand of show business."

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WakiLeaks: History Declassified 2000 (Vol. One) is now available on Kindle for $2.99

Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.

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