FRI, SAT, SUN, June 17, 18, 19, 2011

The California Department of Corrections is scrapping plans to build a more modern execution chamber.    To save money, they'll strap inmates into the old chair and force them to watch Paris Hilton's "My New BFF," confident they'll do themselves in by holding their breath.

Members of Cornell's class of 1931 recently celebrated their 80th reunion in Ithaca, NY.    Tears flowed like beer at a freshman kegger.  Andy Rooney and Hugh Hefner hadn't seen each other since their last Young Republicans for Calvin Coolidge rally.

Still smarting from his team's loss to the Dallas Mavericks,  LeBron James confided to friends that he wasn't giving 100% during the playoffs.  As a $17 million-a-year player, he admitted that his performance was closer to that of a $10 million-a-year player.

According to meteorologists, the sun will give off dangerous solar flares all summer.  Leading dermatologists are warning that the ultra-violet rays emitted will be almost as serious a health risk as sleeping with porn star Ultra Violet.

A 77-year old grandmother was in this year's graduating class at a Michigan high school. Before you applaud, it's not that she left school too early to graduate -- she had to redo the twelfth grade sixty-two times.
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DOLORES HOPE "Silver Bells" (with Bob)

BOB HOPE'S 1983 U.S. COLLEGE CAMPUS TOUR: Your Alma Mater Here?

"Having spent twenty years writing for the indefatigable Bob Hope, and traveling all over the world, Bob Mills is well qualified to salute the famous corps of gag men who kept the comedian knee-deep in jokes. These first-hand recollections summon up the final phase of Hope’s career—and the end of the trail for an entire brand of show business."


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WakiLeaks: History Declassified 2000 (Vol. One) is now available on Kindle for $2.99

Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.