THURSDAY, June 2, 2011

On Memorial Day, the Toon Channel aired a re-run of the final episode of M*A*S*H showing the 4077th gang leaving Korea at war‘s end.  There were a few surprises.  For the first time, longtime fans realized that Corporal Klinger married Woody Allen’s wife.

Sentenced to 24-hour surveillance, Lindsay Lohan has begun six months under house arrest.  When the sheriff’s deputy strapped on her ankle bracelet, she thought to herself, “Gee… the first bracelet I didn’t shoplift.”

The Texas legislature is considering a bill that would make it a crime for federal TSA employees to grope airline passengers.  And none too soon.  It’s high time someone got groping out of the airport and back into the governor’s mansion where it belongs.

Officials at the California Department of Corrections insist that the release of 30,000 convicts is unavoidable because their current budget just won’t cover the cost of housing them.  On top of that, they say they’re running out of tin cups.

The Security and Exchange Commission recently awarded one million dollars to a hedge fund employee who blew the whistle on his boss.  Up until now, the only one who made that kind of money blowing anything was Herb Alpert.

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Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.