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TUESDAY, September 27, 2011

Einstein's theory that nothing is faster than the speed of light may be wrong.  Atomic scientists have discovered a neutrino that is faster.  To add insult to injury, Guinness has certified that there's something even faster than the neutrino -- Joy Behar's tongue.

Hackers invaded Scarlett Johansson's personal web site and have spread nude photos of her  across the Internet.  To add to her embarrassment, she took the photos herself with her cell phone.  This has to be the worst thing to happen to a Scarlett since "Gone With the Wind."

Some upscale restaurants are now doing what was once unthinkable -- allowing patrons to make reservations on the Internet.  One big drawback, though.  Customers who do that usually find that their waiter is from Delhi and knows nothing but computer menus.

To illustrate their similarity, P.E.T.A. is now integrating photos of animals being mistreated with scenes from well-known porno movies.  For instance, scenes from "Deep Throat" are combined with shots showing where chefs get goose liver pate.
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THE LAUGH MAKERS: A Leonard Maltin "Top 20" Year End Pick!

DOLORES HOPE MEDLEY

DOLORES HOPE "Silver Bells" (with Bob)

BOB HOPE'S 1983 U.S. COLLEGE CAMPUS TOUR: Your Alma Mater Here?

"Having spent twenty years writing for the indefatigable Bob Hope, and traveling all over the world, Bob Mills is well qualified to salute the famous corps of gag men who kept the comedian knee-deep in jokes. These first-hand recollections summon up the final phase of Hope’s career—and the end of the trail for an entire brand of show business."

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WakiLeaks: History Declassified 2000 (Vol. One) is now available on Kindle for $2.99

Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.

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