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TUESDAY, July 12, 2011

Everyone thought it a little strange when Natalie Portman announced that she'd named her new baby boy "Aleph."  However, it was fully explainable.  Seems she intended to name the kid Ralph, but the nurse filling out the tag on the maternity ward crib was dyslexic.

A young woman in Richmond, Kentucky was arrested for stealing an expensive diamond ring by swallowing it at a jewelry store counter.  She's been charged with grand theft, shoplifting, and ingesting a controlled substance.  The good news:  an additional charge of concealing evidence will be dropped as soon as it shows up.

After the NBA Players Union rejected their latest offer, team owners staged a lockout.  The term "lockout" isn't entirely accurate -- the players  could still get to their lockers, but knowing that none of them have ever heard of Roman history, they just switched the combination locks to Roman numerals.

The California legislature passed a bill allowing school districts throughout the state to teach Gay History as an official course.  Already, state colleges have made it a prerequisite for degrees in Broadway Musicology, Interior Design and Anthropological Artifact Acquisition.

Archaeologists digging in Israel uncovered 3,000-year old tiles believed to have been made by the Philistines.  Graphologists concluded that the tiles were from an ancient lavatory when the inscription on them was translated to read:  "For a Good Time Call Bathsheba at "Sodom I-XIV-XXIX"
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THE LAUGH MAKERS: A Leonard Maltin "Top 20" Year End Pick!

DOLORES HOPE MEDLEY

DOLORES HOPE "Silver Bells" (with Bob)

BOB HOPE'S 1983 U.S. COLLEGE CAMPUS TOUR: Your Alma Mater Here?

"Having spent twenty years writing for the indefatigable Bob Hope, and traveling all over the world, Bob Mills is well qualified to salute the famous corps of gag men who kept the comedian knee-deep in jokes. These first-hand recollections summon up the final phase of Hope’s career—and the end of the trail for an entire brand of show business."

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WakiLeaks: History Declassified 2000 (Vol. One) is now available on Kindle for $2.99

Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.

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