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TUESDAY, July 26, 2011

"Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" continues to rake in solid box office receipts.  But it may be at the cost of good health.  Accountants at Warner Bros. who have handled the cash pouring in have developed strange skin eruptions that dermatologists have named -- for want of a better term -- "hogwarts."

After Yankee fan Chris Lopez caught Derek Jeter's 3000th hit and gave it back to him without asking for money, Miller Brewing Company offered to pay off the generous lad's outstanding student loans.  Even better, Cameron Diaz has guaranteed him a bit part in "Bad Teacher 2."

The record heat wave blanketing the country has set records from coast-to-coast.  Last week Minnesota, the  ice-fishing capital of the world, posted a whopping 125 degrees.  It was so hot in Lake Wobegone, Garrison Keillor's prairie home companion was his room air conditioner.

After watching profits plummet for nearly a decade while the sales of e-books spiraled upwards, Borders Books have tossed in the towel.  And it's about time.  It was hard to tell which borders were the least popular, the bookstores or the ones in Arizona.

DC Comics has made the shocking announcement that Superman and Lois Lane are splitting up.  One would think that Superman has to be the best lover on earth, right?  Wrong!  Lois claims that by the time he extricates himself from those leotards, she's out of the mood.
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THE LAUGH MAKERS: A Leonard Maltin "Top 20" Year End Pick!

DOLORES HOPE MEDLEY

DOLORES HOPE "Silver Bells" (with Bob)

BOB HOPE'S 1983 U.S. COLLEGE CAMPUS TOUR: Your Alma Mater Here?

"Having spent twenty years writing for the indefatigable Bob Hope, and traveling all over the world, Bob Mills is well qualified to salute the famous corps of gag men who kept the comedian knee-deep in jokes. These first-hand recollections summon up the final phase of Hope’s career—and the end of the trail for an entire brand of show business."

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WakiLeaks: History Declassified 2000 (Vol. One) is now available on Kindle for $2.99

Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.

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