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THURSDAY, July 7, 2011

An anthropologist in London discovered a marijuana pipe buried in Shakespeare's garden.  Nearby he found a crumpled parchment with phrases apparently written by The Bard while under the influence -- lines like "Hark, what rainbow-colored, groovy light through yonder window breaks?"  and "To be or not to be stoned, that is the totally awesome question."

The 2011 Tour de France got off to a wild and dramatic start in the Vendee region of France as a multiple bike spill marred the first lap.  There was a 3-hour delay while French police administered roadside tests for performance-enhancing drugs.

The NIH has released the results of a study that shows 20% of Americans are mentally ill.  And 87% of those have appeared on the Jerry Springer Show, Judge Judy, the Jaywalking segment on the Tonight Show or served on the Casey Anthony jury.

Thanks to an unusually long drought and super-dry conditions, Phoenix, AZ experienced a two-mile high dust cloud that canceled scheduled flights.  It got so bad, the usual immigration rules were waived and anyone could cross the border if they had a Weed-Eater, a leaf blower or a feather duster.

In the Burrough of the Bronx, New York, someone made off with a grand piano that had been included in a display celebrating the arts.  Next day, three gang members from Queens were arrested for possession of thirty AK-47s and a loaded Steinway.
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BOB HOPE'S 1983 U.S. COLLEGE CAMPUS TOUR: Your Alma Mater Here?

"Having spent twenty years writing for the indefatigable Bob Hope, and traveling all over the world, Bob Mills is well qualified to salute the famous corps of gag men who kept the comedian knee-deep in jokes. These first-hand recollections summon up the final phase of Hope’s career—and the end of the trail for an entire brand of show business."

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WakiLeaks: History Declassified 2000 (Vol. One) is now available on Kindle for $2.99

Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.

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