FRI, SAT, April 12, 13, 2013

MASTERS SCHMASTERS -- The best greenside wizards  in the world including Phil Mickelson, Bubba Watson and Tiger Woods have gathered at Augusta National to go head-to-head on one of the toughest courses in golf.  Does this really make sense?  Just to win an ill-fitting sports jacket they can wear in public only on St. Patrick's Day. 

HANDS ON -- To prepare them for soaring student loans, the California Legislature will require high school seniors to take a course in personal finance that will cover budgeting, interest calculation and interpretation of the menu symbols they'll need to operate a cash register at McDonald's.

LOUVRE IT OR LEAVE IT -- In Paris, curators at the Louve Museum walked off the job protesting the bands of pickpockets who target visitors and staff.   A press conference was cancelled when a union spokesman discovered his prepared notes had been snatched from his inside jacket pocket on his way to the podium.


USED IN A SENTENCE -- Officials of the annual National Spelling Bee announced a major rules change.  From now on, finalists must define the word as well as spell it successfully.  Isn't that a little like asking a rap "artist" to translate what the hell he was saying.

WEINERSCHNITZEL -- With his expulsion from Congress for Twittering his junk well behind him, former Congressman Anthony Weiner is seriously considering a run for mayor of New York City -- at least he told reporters he's almost ready to toss his Jockey Shorts in the ring. 


 (Contents Copyright (c) 2013 by Robert L. Mills  All Rights Reserved)

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Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.