FRI, SAT, SUN, July 29, 30, 31

In an attempt to lend a hand to American buyers who have hit on hard times, IKEA is offering cheaper assemble-yourself furniture.  And for evicted homeowners, the crate the parts come in easily converts into a makeshift homeless shelter.

Bowing to criticism that they have been a major contributor to childhood obesity, McDonald's will offer kids a more healthy "Happy Meal" that includes fruit along with a smaller portion of French Fries.  New name, too.  From now on it will be called the "Be Happy It's Not All Broccoli Meal." 

The city of Fremont, Michigan hosted their first annual Baby Food Festival last week.  Keynote speaker was an executive from Gerber's whose talk was entitled "Don't Knock Strained Carrots -- Wait 'Til You're Toothless in a Senior Retirement Center."  

Formerly the quickie marriage capital of the world, Las Vegas is in such a slump, they're now encouraging people to renew their wedding vows.  One cut-rate chapel is offering a great deal to repeat customers.  If you'll renew your vows, they'll renew the thin layer of gold that quickly wore off the cheap wedding ring they sold you.

A man in southern California got tired of waiting for Medicare, so he decided to perform his own hernia surgery at home.  Then strange things happened.  His handwriting became illegible, he developed an overwhelming desire to play golf on Wednesdays and he over-billed himself.

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BOB HOPE'S 1983 U.S. COLLEGE CAMPUS TOUR: Your Alma Mater Here?

"Having spent twenty years writing for the indefatigable Bob Hope, and traveling all over the world, Bob Mills is well qualified to salute the famous corps of gag men who kept the comedian knee-deep in jokes. These first-hand recollections summon up the final phase of Hope’s career—and the end of the trail for an entire brand of show business."


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WakiLeaks: History Declassified 2000 (Vol. One) is now available on Kindle for $2.99

Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.