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MONDAY, July 18, 2011

Unemployment is so rampant, no one has any money to gamble anymore.  So Las Vegas casinos are now allowed by law to take bets on non-sporting events like who'll become the next Miss America, which movie will win Best Picture and what brand of cold cuts Lady Gaga will wear at her next concert appearance.

The U.S. has bid a fond farewell to the Atlantis space shuttle, after years of faithful service despite stuck toilets, missing tiles and returns to Houston piggy-backed on a 747.  No, wait a minute -- sorry -- that's Oprah.

A mother in Austin, Texas gave birth to a boy who weighed over 16 pounds.   Luckily, the hospital is located next to a Home Depot because the obstetrician had to send out for barbecue tongs.

Some Catholics were outraged over reports that the Vatican was negotiating to purchase Orange County's Crystal Cathedral.   But here's the pope's reasoning -- he figures priests will think twice before molesting children in front of all those window washers.

The governor of Ohio has signed a bill that legalizes carrying a concealed weapon into a bar.  It's about time.  Finally, a better way to settle a bar tab than liar's dice.

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THE LAUGH MAKERS: A Leonard Maltin "Top 20" Year End Pick!

DOLORES HOPE MEDLEY

DOLORES HOPE "Silver Bells" (with Bob)

BOB HOPE'S 1983 U.S. COLLEGE CAMPUS TOUR: Your Alma Mater Here?

"Having spent twenty years writing for the indefatigable Bob Hope, and traveling all over the world, Bob Mills is well qualified to salute the famous corps of gag men who kept the comedian knee-deep in jokes. These first-hand recollections summon up the final phase of Hope’s career—and the end of the trail for an entire brand of show business."

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WakiLeaks: History Declassified 2000 (Vol. One) is now available on Kindle for $2.99

Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.

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