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THURSDAY, July 28, 2011

Top Pentagon general David Petraeus has left his command in Afghanistan to assume his new assignment heading up the C.I.A.  The Agency works undercover in plain clothes which could be a problem for him.  In the Army "plain clothes" means wearing only half your medals.

An alarming study has discovered that children now spend so much time indoors playing video games, they lack Vitamin D, an essential nutriant found in sunlight.  Or, as those of you who grew up taking Flintstone Vitamins know it --  "Pebbles."

Major crimes committed against farmers are on the rise including livestock and crop theft, extortion and farmhouse invasion robberies.  The problem is growing so rapidly, CBS is rushing to develop a new Fall series called "CSI:  Green Acres."

Yuo Ming, the first Chinese-born basketball player to make it to the NBA, has hung up his Adidas.  Throughout his career, he was a perfect role model for NBA players.  He was never charged with a DUI, never caught with a gun in his locker and never had to buy expensive jewelry for his wife. 

A study conducted by anthropologists from Oxford University concluded that the human eye becomes larger the further away from the equator the person lives due to the necessity of processing images in subdued light.  The phenomenon was confirmed by male boys age 13-18 observing their first bare female breasts in a darkened bedroom.

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THE LAUGH MAKERS: A Leonard Maltin "Top 20" Year End Pick!

DOLORES HOPE MEDLEY

DOLORES HOPE "Silver Bells" (with Bob)

BOB HOPE'S 1983 U.S. COLLEGE CAMPUS TOUR: Your Alma Mater Here?


"Having spent twenty years writing for the indefatigable Bob Hope, and traveling all over the world, Bob Mills is well qualified to salute the famous corps of gag men who kept the comedian knee-deep in jokes. These first-hand recollections summon up the final phase of Hope’s career—and the end of the trail for an entire brand of show business."

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WakiLeaks: History Declassified 2000 (Vol. One) is now available on Kindle for $2.99

Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.

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